The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
