They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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