It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize