Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is wine microwaveable?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
