I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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