I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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