I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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