There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
