Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
