We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize