No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
