What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
