Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
