a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
