Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
