I'm lost and stupid without you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
