My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize