i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
