YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
