Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
