my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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