I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
