Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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