dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
