OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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