I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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