my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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