Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
