My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
