You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
