i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
