i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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