doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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