do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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