That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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