It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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