yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
