Where is the hickey?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
