If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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