So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
