I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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