Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
