I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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