i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
