Can Purell be used as lube?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
