So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Its about making memories worth repressing
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When are your genitals available?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
