happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
