My balls are so social today.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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