ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
