She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
