I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
