epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
being pregnant is like rehab
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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