I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
