Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
