Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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