I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
