first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
