You're my little dorito
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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