a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
