He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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