My underwear smells like fireworks.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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